"Where Did the Time Go?"

This is the question I hear from almost every single parent who goes to their child's graduation. It does not matter whether it is from graduation of Kindergarten to 1st grade, 5th to 6th grade, high school graduation or even college.  You will most likely hear those infamous words from parents or close relatives, "Where did the time go?--Time went so fast."

Time is not something that we can magically "will" to have more of, nor is it something that we can purchase.  Time, however, is something that we can cut short, ignore and allow to slip past.  It is this arena I would like to help in and give some quick advise.  The title of this article, posses a question that, if you have not asked of yourself, you will most definitely seek an answer too at some point, or perhaps many points in your life.  Allow me to help you "slow" time down.  This is not for sale, nor is there any illusion involved, it simply is a "perceived reality".  (I hope that is a correct phrase--I only say that because that phrase has taken on an entirely different meaning in the last 15 years--conversation for "another time").

So how can we slow time down? Each of us know this secret; however we need reminding from time to time, because we allow ourselves to get very busy, we get distracted and we get very focused on problems of the day.  So before you find yourself asking "that" question, start implementing this very simple, yet profound unwavering truth--Allow yourself to be apart of and enjoy those "little" moments in life.  Think about it, you have a child, you are going to do your best to make sure you are there for those big moments in their life, well take a step back and enjoy those little moments in their life.  Those little moments are different for each family and relationship, but non-the-less they are there.  There are many moments you can take advantage of, and you need to find those.  As a father of a Senior in high school, I promise you life does "fly by", however someone many years ago gave me this advice and I hope that you will take full advantage of it as well.  So go enjoy those little moments with the ones you love and allow time to slow down for you.  It is well worth the effort.

"Drive Thru Parenting"

In our North American Culture we have many luxuries that exist in our day-to-day lives and "Fast Food Drive Thru" is one of them. At any point on your drive and at almost any time of the day you can have just about any food item you want and in about 5 minutes. As far as a time saver these places offer the best bang for your buck and they taste pretty good too. Some places say they offer healthy food, as other places seem to not even bother.

As a minister, I love working with families and I try to encourage families to spend more time together and study God's Word together and apply what God's Word says. Unfortunately, I see many families treat the raising of their children, as they would approach a meal, (they use the drive thru.) I do not think parents willingly raise their kids this way, but each of us would do some good to slow down in some areas of our lives and work a little more at spending time with our kids and teaching them what God’s Word says about their lives. Let's quit going to the drive thru and picking out the cheapest and fastest food and expect our kids to grow up and become Godly kids. We need to quit abdicating the raising of our kids to other people. Do not get me wrong, teachers, coaches and specialized instructors help us in many ways, but if we do not create time with our own kids and allow them to be raised by us we allow other peoples philosophies of life to be taught to our kids, and we should not be surprised when our kids follow some philosophical path that is different from ours. Parents, we cannot afford to allow other people to do this "raising" of our kids.

In the drive thru we look for a (one stop) quick fix to our hunger, at a cheep price, and not really worried about the nutritious value. The biggest decision we face is “what are my taste buds screaming for?” When we cook a meal at home, a lot more thought and attention is given to the meal. Detail, of some kind is put into practice. We put a lot more thought into what we are doing.

When it comes to the raising of our kids, so many parents tend to follow the drive thru analogy. We tend to look for something that appeals to our wants. We look for a place that will take care of our “hunger”/ need in a quick and cheep fashion. When I mention cheap, I am not necessarily referring to money, I am referring to the “overall value.” We as parents do spend a lot of money on our kids and that is another subject for another time. However, We do allow our kids to get what they want and not what they need. We allow other people to feed our families.

So instead of allowing other people to feed your family, what if, as parents we fed our families. What would it be like if parents raised their kids as if they were cooking and preparing a meal at home. I supposed more time would have to be put into it. We would have to stop doing other things that did not pertain to cooking. We would have a much wider selection of choices for food. The food would be healthier. We would be able to control what our kids are eating. Then when it came time to sitting down and eating, it would be done with each person sitting at the table.

I hope that we as parents understand what it means when in Deuteronomy 6: 7 the Bible says that, as parents we are to “teach these things diligently unto our children”. To teach our children, we must 1) be around, 2) make a conscience effort, 3) know what we are teaching, 4) live out what we are teaching, and 5) give the structure and boundaries needed for children to learn. As parents we love our kids, but do our kids know that we love them?

LOVE spelled out to a child is TIME!